Dub Not Dubya

Friday, December 05, 2003
In re the school in Louisiana which punished a 7-year-old for telling a classmate that his mothers are gay, Mark Morford once again has what may be the definitive commentary:

The following week, Marcus had to come to school early and repeatedly write: "I will never use the word `gay' in school again," immediately after which the teacher and the principal and much of homophobic Louisiana in general were plagued with irritating rashes all over their wee little animas, inducing sporadic uncontrollable nightmares in which they were stripped naked by hordes of drooling Wal-Mart shoppers from Florida and forced to write "I will not be a prissy preening shrill homophobic simpering jackass my entire freakin' goddamn little life lest I wish the universe to string me up by my small intestine and whip me with a large double-headed dildo until I whimper and cry and hail Shiva," ten thousand million times across the great chalkboard in the sky.

This dollop of wisdom is not available on the SFGate website. You'll have to subscribe to his thrice-weekly email newsletter to get his take on the news. Well worth it.

Thursday, December 04, 2003
Meanwhile, back in Brazil: The headline shouts Mayor Bans Gays, and so I go to read it thinking it will be some totally appalling thing directed at us as usual. And taken by itself, it is. But then we see what else this guy has done:

Earlier this year he banned all birth control methods in Bocaiuva do Sul and in the spring stood in front of city hall handing out free Viagra. 

Berti, who claims to be in regular touch with aliens and says they are helping to fund a UFO landing pad he's building in the town announced last month that aliens were going to land during a Brazil v Peru football match. 

What's that Voltaire quote again? "I have only made one prayer--that my enemies be ridiculous. And God has granted this."

Still more hours of fun, coming right up: Bush Background Generator. Please send me your best ones, and I'll link to them.

Meanwhile, quote of the evening: "Ashcroft knows what I had for dinner. He knows my bra size. He knows I bought boxing gloves. But he doesn't know what I bought at the bookstore!" --Me, describing my evening of shopping and dinner. I paid cash at the last listed place.

On edit: Ashcroft Knows My Bra Size would be a great name for a rock band.